


tell the sun not to shine (past komahina)

by angelicnagito



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/M, M/M, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29201064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelicnagito/pseuds/angelicnagito
Summary: as the sun rose he whispered in my ear, "tell the sun not to shine." i whispered back, "only if you promise to stay."a non-despair komahina AU in which there's a LOT of unresolved emotional hurt and angst between hajime and nagito
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Nanami Chiaki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	tell the sun not to shine (past komahina)

it was christmas and i had no one to celebrate it with. i needed a sign to point me east or west. the sign came as a leaflet; it was an invitation to christmas party at hope's peak church. the sign pointed south so i headed there.

at the church everyone was dressed as best as they could. as the church population was very diverse, the people wore clothes corresponding to their traditions. shawls the color of flamingos and dresses the color of turquoise flooded my eyes. it was such a mesmerizing sight. i, on the other hand wore a tuxedo as a result of my poor time management. it simply couldn't be helped. 

it was now dinnertime, so i went to the large outdoor seating provided to us by the church. i still had trouble here and there with using forks and knives to eat food, so i had someone guide me.

"go like this," they said, gently grabbing their fork and knife. i noticed their freckles and multi-colored hair. i copied them.

"go like this," they said, using the fork to wrap the spaghetti around it. i noticed how shiny their magenta eyes were in the night sky. i copied them. 

"go like this," they said, gently putting the spaghetti in their mouth with ease. i noticed the scars covering their arms. i copied them.

once i was done eating, i quietly returned to my seat in the church. i was among those seated in the front. we all quietly waited for the pastor to deliver the sermon. the pastor then stepped onto the podium, and yelled out, "hallelujah!"

the church members yelled after him. even though i couldn't see the pastor all that well, i recognized his voice instantly. it was hajime. 

i remember him towering over me, his skin the color of melted caramel. he was the one who taught me how to smoke cigarettes. when he noticed me coughing up the smoke, he would say, 'you'll get there, komaeda.' now i smoke 20 a day.

i remembered sharing my bed with him after he got kicked out by his parents for being bi. we would stay up late and he'd tell me stories about being a shepherd in the middle of nowhere. i'd tell him how everyone at my school bullied me for being neurodivergent. "next time," he said, hands visibly shaking, "i'll come to your school and beat them up!"

i remembered the first time i'd seen him shirtless. we were sitting together on the rooftop of my school, lamenting about how summer break was just about to end. the weather was unbearably hot and almost reflexively, he took off his shirt. my heart pounded. he looked at me, and i'd like to think that he saw the longing in my eyes. our faces grew closer, and eventually, i leaned into him. hajime smelled of cigarettes and cherry bubblegum. eventually, we pulled apart and he kissed my neck, leaving small bites on every single nook and cranny of it. i shuddered. and that's how our relationship started.

the next day we'd played soccer with the neighborhood kids. hajime kept passing me the ball. every time he did this, he'd pass me a smile that said, "nothing happened." he was trying to dodge a life of complications. but at night he'd place his hands, lips, tongue inside my world of complications. we would let lust overcome us until we were panting, gasping for air. and then we'd go out about our day wondering if the previous night had even happened.

on the night before summer break ended, we lay together on my mess of a bed. i pressed his palm onto my lips and cheeks, and he nibbled on my collarbone. in the moonlit room, i could see him smiling a smile that said, 'nothing even matters.' as the sun rose he whispered in my ear, "tell the sun not to shine." i whispered back, "only if you promise to stay." he boarded a plane to london the next day.

now he began a lecture about god and what-not but i wasn't listening. all i noticed was the wrinkles that had started to define his face. the sagging cheeks resembling a life of fatigue. a beard that looked like it was allowed to roam untamed.

"amen," the congregation said before getting up and heading for the door. as people filtered out i felt an urge to speak to hajime. 

i wanted to tell him that i had once dated a man named izuru.

i wanted to tell him that i saw his face every time izuru and i intertwined our fingers.

i wanted to tell him that my parents disowned me when i came out to them.

i wanted to _vomit_ those words out.

but before i could, a pink-haired woman in an ink-black skirt and a child resembling him walked up to hajime. he kissed both of them and placed the child on his shoulders. that's when he saw me. he tried to smile a smile that said many things: ' _not here, not now_ '; ' _i'm sorry'_ ; _'i'm scared_ '. but before he could do it, before he could break my heart a million times over, i did what i knew best.

i ran.

**Author's Note:**

> ty for reading !! i hope y'all liked it!! comments are appreciated ww


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